(follow up to 'hence the consequence' below)... i was afraid of admitting that this is a christian book, not because i was afraid of admitting my belief, quite the contrary. i believe it so much that i did not want to jeopardize someone else coming to that belief. to me, it would be like trying to help someone (as if i were a doctor, lifeguard, fireman, etc) without the proper training. i did not want to preach, or try to convince anyone of anything, just tell the story and let them decide.

i have been on the other side most of my life--not knowing god; did not believe in god and said many many times that if god existed he could not allow all these things to happen. it's funny, the things that used to make me cringe, (like people quoting scripture to me) now give me revelation. when i discovered that i believe what the bible says i felt like the son that had finally come home.

it is my hope that runaways, their parents and the victims of, wont have to suffer. i am just one of the 'lucky' ones. i am also resourceful, and as i tell my wife, blessed beyond belief. i truly believe i have a guardian angel. even now, while discovering that my simple food allergies and adhd--i've had since i was 5, have now turned into 9 pages of recommendations from the doctor, along with needing to get checked for 2 additional ailments this doctor cannot treat me for. the nurse made a comment that i 'looked' like i was in great health for someone that took so much abuse (a doctor once told me i would not make it to 19).

the problem i face now is living with the same habits for so long. it will not be easy to change (not to mention a whole lot of money we don't have). but these are just some of the consequences i face. some kids and young adults will face much harsher realities than just 'habits' or 'ailments'. some will not care. some will be taken further advantage of. some will absolutely devastate those who loved them. and some will not be here for any of this to matter at all.

i used to hang out in bars (maybe went to church on a holiday or 2), now i hate to miss a service and still go to bars. kinda reminds me of when i realized i could have friends by doing drugs but continued to play about every sport (yes, i was a frock--freak and a jock). but, i have always been a little 'different'.

it is sad that i did not want to disclose my faith and desire to grow spiritually when promoting this book. far too many of us see other people that call themselves 'spiritual' as hypocrites. they contradict themselves and their belief. one of my favorite sayings is from casting crowns, 'people are not confused by the gospel, they are confused by us!'

unfortunately, most of my life has been lived without hope. i was in survival mode and it became 'all about me'. i did not want to listen to anyone. i didn't care about drowning myself, the consequences, or those i hurt.

if god gave us all free will, then it's up to us to choose to help each other; be kind to one another and intentionally love each other. we're not animals that don't know better. we are complex and capable of truly imitating god and living in his will. today, i don't just look for 'miracles', i look for what is real and try to do my part (of course, i'll take the miracles when they come).

my desire is to tell a story that provides hope. show that life is incredible, repairable, and biblical. i no longer feel condemned. and i will tell you, i did not want this book to be 'about me'. i want it to be about relationships and making better choices (and not about rules).

i've lived a full life. i have absolutely no regrets. i have however, felt ashamed by those in the church that only make other 'christian' people feel comfortable and not people that have needs. i have been that young man that 'looked like hell' or came into the church lost and alone, and at best got more of 'a look' than a helping hand or told about chirst.

we (as christians) are supposed to be his hand and feet, not just a building. recently, a friend asked 'how can you be in a bar and call yourself a christian'? where else should i be? in a church witnessing to other christians? what good would that do? of course i want to be fed and be a good witness--and people may not always see it that way. but people will think what they want regardless. only god knows my heart (and trust me, he knows--and has all of it!). i do not hang out in bars and drink. i fellowship with people i was virtually raised by and grew up with. perhaps now i could be a light in a dark place?

what i do and where i end up is my burden to bear and i would not recommend where i've been to anyone. truthfully, not many people can do what i've done, live thru what i lived thru, and still have half their senses, abilities or any love left in their heart in the end (read 'memoirs' and tell me i'm wrong).

again, i am just one of the 'lucky' ones; but i did not get here alone. like in writing this book; i had a terrific ghostwriter, my mother and wife's help, and, i have a good story to tell. but I am no where near the man i used to be (which is a very good thing). i have tapped into a spiritual healing and do continue to be blessed. another example is my church. i wanted to worship god and wanted to find a way to learn more. i ended up at a place who's sole purpose is 'bringing people closer to jesus'. i remember the pastor saying 'if you want to be a part of this church, go help somebody else.' it's an 85,000 square foot building, has a pastor that is actually accessible (i've been to lunch with him several times and he lives what he preaches), and it's a church that helped us when we needed it....a great working relationship. and when i say working, i mean working to please him, instead of me, which is absolutely glorifying.

i accept the consequences
and believe i have a purpose.
ultimately, there is only one judge (above all).
please read my story.
and enjoy the journey.

(scripture references--not in order)
Luke 15:11-32 The Prodigal (or Lost) Son
1 Corinthians 6:12 Everything is permissible for me--but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me--but I will not be mastered by anything.
Ephesians 5:17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.
Ephesians 5:18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord...
Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God...2 And walk in love...
1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us...
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image...
1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Romans 8:1 ...no condemnation for those who are in Christ
Matthew 7:1 Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
Matthew 5:14 You are the light of the world.
1 Corinthians 12:27 ..you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
(Glorifying God...and Purpose) http://decapolis.com/faith_/pages/22.WhatDidChristSayAboutGl.shtml