Even if I weren’t a little bias and she wasn’t my mom, I could not help being impressed
by the never ending qualities and astounded by her never ceasing accomplishments. I’ll never find the right words, so,
I pray to do her justice; not only in tribute, but in an ability to move on taking her spirit with me.
I
referred to her in my book as the ‘one constant if my life’ and I know without her love and support I would not
have been able receive all the blessing life has to offer. Most of you may know that at times I could be
a bit of a test and sometimes knowing me was not always to love me. The truth is that I feel like the prodigal
son. There are very few that would have forgiven me like she did and I often heard ‘that woman’s
going to heaven’.
Even toward the end of her life, she continued to teach me and now sadly,
my next lesson is that death is a part of life. Like most things, she just made it another adventure.
Almost another social event. I learned another lesson about the value of friends and that love does
conquer all. It’s very hard to think of her being gone, but I am quickly corrected by her spirit
letting me know she’s right here in my heart and sometimes can’t get her out of my head whether I like it or not.
Christmas
2007 mom was visiting Sue and I in Charleston and couldn’t breathe well. We tried to make her as comfortable as possible
but when she couldn’t even put her sentences together I told her I’m taking her to the emergency room and she
didn’t resist. That night a pulmonary doctor just happens to be on staff and not only knew what to
do and how to treat her but even Mom was impressed with his knowledge (although we knew she was being watched over and everything
was going to be ok). He admitted her and said she better stay for at least a couple days so we can monitor
her and run some tests.
The next few days we remained by her side, worked on editing my book
together and she was sharp as ever, admitting that she had a ‘very good English teacher’. After
2 days she was restless and wanted to see her results and leave the hospital although she still had to stay a few more days.
After she went home I continued to call her from my favorite place, the hot tub. I’d sit
in there for hours and talk to mom about who knows what. It became something we would both cherish and
after fixing the world, we’d share everything about what she’s doing to fix herself and I knew there was no one
better equipped and capable.
On an x-ray during her hospital stay she was concerned about something she saw
and asked someone else to take a look at it and I remember her saying, ‘it has to come back ok’. I asked what
she meant and she said it could be cancer and my heart dropped.
Like her true self,
she jumped right into researching, studying, calling, and made several arrangements to battle the almost assured terminal
illness. I researched liver cancer (myself) one day for 8 hours and did not like what I discovered but
no one could or would comfort me more than her. So now besides battling 3 other serious illnesses she was
ready to fight one more. And she did.
Without successful treatment most
liver cancer patients only last up to 3 months. Mother would not have survived surgery but wanted to see
the surgeon anyway, so I went with her. The doctor said she’d never survive surgery but to continue
doing whatever you’re doing because this did not pop up overnight and because of how well you treat yourself this could
have been in you for years. Also because of her diet she lived with less pain.
What an amazing
tribute and an inspiration she is to all of us. Besides looking to mom for comfort, I knew right
where to turn and knew if we prayed that this is in His will, we will find true happiness, peace, love and acceptance.
I
don’t know if it was for her or for me but the last few weeks I have been here as much as my own home; as a matter of
fact, I had the awesome privilege of being by her side as the angels took her.
Now I can reflect
on all the things that made her so great. Looking thru the things that made up her life, I keep running
into the word… gratitude. She was so grateful for her friends, her life and her desire to be a better
person that I truly believe she made us all better people.
God only knows how much we’ll miss her
but that spirit of gratitude now abides over us, and we know she does not have to suffer any longer, and, most importantly,
will be with her heavenly father and people she loves.
Personally,
and I think I speak for many of us when I say, she’s left me with that spirit of gratitude and although I feel a bit
overwhelmed I am blessed with family, friends and her loving spirit to get us though.
What an amazing honor
it has been to know her and be her son.
Mom, I miss you so much already and love you dearly!!
Son Mark:
My mom was my inspiration.
I wandered if it would be appropriate to add humor but quickly decided to do what mom would want. So,
with that Mike used to be the “good son” because while I was living in South Carolina, he called her more often
than I did. But I won. I moved here to care for her and now claim victory as “the
good son”. Seriously it was truly a wonderful gift to care for mom like she did for us for
so many years. Jesus said what we do for another we do for Him so what an enormous opportunity it was to
serve her. Mom was very sociable always opening her heart and her home making it feel safe and at peace.
So many special times were shared. I heard friends and family laugh, cry, get
angry, have deep discussions but more then anything were embraced with love, respect and the spirit each person added to her
home. She gave so much too so many.
I made the decision to come here in November of 2008 to just be there for mom in whatever
aspect I needed to be. I watched my mom slowly waste away to nothing and no matter how much we embraced
her wishes of a non traditional method of healing, God had different plans. What I saw hurt me because
she hurt but at the same time inspired me. Mom stayed strong to her beliefs and wishes not to do chemotherapy,
radiation and harsh drugs that doctors will often tell us are the only way…or at least the only way they know.
She was diagnosed back in March of 2008 but felt symptoms back in December of 2007. I was told by
the wife of an Oncologist that if they detect a tumor the size of a pin, it has been around for 8 years and hers was almost
the size of a fist when detected. I truly believe it was the combination of her will to live, to please
others and the holistic or non-traditional methods that kept her alive so much longer then she should have been and with little
pain.
I
know she will inspire all of us to live life with compassion, a desire to give and please each other and that there is always
hope especially when we believe, keep our hearts open and strive to have peace and gratitude. We grieve
for the loss of my mom but her spirit lives on and blessed are we that know Jesus and will live eternally with Him in heaven.
We can rejoice that mom led a long and wonderful life and has been lifted to heaven on the wings of angels.
We will join her some day no longer feeling the burdens or pains of the world in the loving embrace of our friends,
our family and our heavenly father. She was my inspiration and I hope will be yours too. God
bless you for all your love, prayers and support along the way. You all meant so very much too her and
to us as well. Her spirit will be with of all. My dear sweet mother…I will miss
you every day!
Daughter-in-Law
I want to speak about 2 of the many wonderful
ways Jan has influenced my life with hers. Both may seem strange to some of you because of my family background (and still
even today) I never knew the truly awesome relationship a mother & child can have. When I met Mike 13 years ago I noticed
a very strange closeness he had to Jan and Mark. As a matter of fact our first date included them!
I used to tease Mike that he was such a mommas boy--and he was! But I meant it as an insult and as the years went
by I grew to appreciate his relationship with Jan. He's still a mommas boy but I understand that as the greatest gift a mother
can give a son. She never TOLD me how I could be a better mother but she showed me!
If I could be half the mother to my son as Jan was to hers then I will have honored her in the highest way. I know
these boys are her pride and joy. And the mutual love and respect is an inspiration.
The
second thing is friendship. I have not known anyone for 30 years--not 20 years--not 10 years! So when I first started being
involved with family functions I thought Jane, Cathy and Iris were family members! And as time went by I got to know many
of you as 'family'. Jan placed a high priority on her friends.
With all of
life's demands she always made time for her friends. I think you could say she lived her life with purpose--she purposely
made her boys priority one gave them her time--and isn't that what every child wants. And she purposely kept her friends close--always
remembering your birthday with a 'real' card--(not an ecard like me)--calling just to chat--socializing & traveling. She
was there for her friends during good times & bad. And never did she have a selfish motive. She did everything out
of love & respect of all of you--her wonderful friends.
Jan was not a woman
who lived by--'do as I say not as I do'--she modeled grace, forgiveness, elegance, compassion & most of all love everyday
to everyone.
God's command is to love your neighbor as yourself &
no one has been more an example of that to me than Jan.
Dr. Gary Oberg
"Fond Remembrances of Janice C. Beima:
1937-2009
I first met Jan around 1977, when she brought Mark to see me for his pediatric
asthma and allergy problems. I remember him well... skinny little Mark; yes, the same one sitting before us now, now known
as Arnold Schwarzenegger Mark! She must have been somehow impressed with what I did for you, Mark, because shortly thereafter,
she came to work for me, in 1978!
Jan was always thirsty for knowledge about how to better help
our allergy patients, and she attended many medical conferences with me. I remember our first meeting together. It was a course
in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, around 1978. What a beautiful place! Mark came along to this meeting. I can remember when the three
of us went horseback riding in the Grand Tetons, and how much he loved it, except he went "eeeyeww, gross!" when
I told him what "le Grand Teton" meant in French! He was about ten years old then!
Except
for a short detour when she moved to Korea with John Beima for a short time, Jan worked for me for the next 31 years. During
this whole time, she continued to go to meetings, read, and learn from our allergy and nutrition patients, as she so splendidly
and professionally preformed the duties of allergy nurse and clinical nutritionist. She amassed a literal Wikipedia of information
on allergy and environmental medicine and nutritional topics, which she kept neatly catalogued in several filing cabinets
scattered around the office. In all of the years she worked for me, I could never stump her with a question about any allergy
or nutrition question! She had the answer to everything in those files! These cabinets remain in my office, a fitting tribute
to her knowledge, and a treasure that we still rely upon to this day.
Her greatest skill lay in the
area of providing cooking help for the mothers of allergy children. Indeed, she published a cookbook on this topic which is
still as good as any on the market today. I remember bragging to the mother that Jan was without peer in this area. She was
so knowledgeable about food substitutes that she could make a Waldorf salad out of old rubber tires and rusty bedsprings and
make it taste good!
Jan was not only a pillar of excellence in my medical practice, she was also
a dear friend. For many years, we were part of what we called the Ravinia Group. There were about a dozen of us; some of you
are here tonight. We would go down to the summer concert series in Highland Park at least several times a summer, listen to
suburb classical music by the Chicago Symphony, and have a veritable feast. We would each bring one dish to pass, a dessert,
and a wine to share. We could always count on Jan to provide the piece de resistance for our meal! These trips were always
the highlight of our summers!
Ah, so many memories! So many good times... So what are we
all to do now that Jan is gone? The answer is, 'God has many ways of reminding us that the beautiful spirits
who have touched our lives soar higher and farther than we would ever imagine, all the way to perfect peace and freedom with
Him.
No one can take away the pain and loss that we feel, but hopefully we can take comfort in the
knowledge that our dear friend and loved one is at peace with God... and one day, we shall all be together again.
For
we are Spirits. It is a kind and benevolent act of God that bodies should be lent us while the afford us pleasures, assist
us in knowledge, or in doing good to our fellow creatures.
But when our bodies become unfit
for these purposes, and afford us pain instead of pleasure; instead of an aid, become an encumbrance and answer none of these
intentions for which they were given, it is equally kind and benevolent that a way is provided by which we get rid of them.
Death is that way.
A woman is not completely Born until she is dead. For ourselves, being
mere Mortals, we can feel only grief at the loss of a dear friend and loved one. But for Jan, we should feel only Joy. For
how can we mourn the Birth of a Child into Eternity?' "
Also, my sincere thanks to Arn, our Pastor and friend for 40 years, who
touches our lives and our hearts. We will never be able to express our thanks.
